3 reasons why your children keep losing temper

3 reasons why your children keep losing temper

By ILK Post

   January 2, 2022

Whether it is at home, academic environments, public transportation, shopping malls, restaurants or other public spaces, it is easy to see children losing their temper and getting out of parents' control. As a parent, it may be easier for you to deal with the above situation when no one is there. Once you feel the gaze and attention of people nearby, and your child still refuses to "cooperate" but remains crying and screaming out loud, it is indeed the biggest nightmare of parents (and everyone basically). In this case, there are usually only two ways for parents to handle this chaos:

  1. meeting all of the child's demands to calm he/her down
  2. severely punishing or scolding the child loudly out of anger
But no matter which strategy is adopted, the parents are either self-blaming for being too strict afterward and start worrying about destroying the relationship with their children, or they are afraid of being too tolerant and spoiling the children. ILK summarizes 3 possible reasons of children lose their temper, and helps you "prescribe the right medicine" and investigate the true causes underneath their behaviors, hence helping your children maintain emotional stability:
  1. Difficulty in expressing feelings and emotions

    If parents are too strict with their children, over time they will turn to express their emotions through the action of losing temper. Parents who adopt strict discipline tend to ignore their children's emotional feelings. From time to time, children tend to have a strong sense of frustration. Long-term lack of adult assistance, understanding and guidance mentally, so unspeakable and inexpressible feelings such as tension, sadness, grievance, etc. will transform the feeling of frustration into strong anger. Being constantly emotionally overloaded, children will naturally communicate how they feel deep down, with seemingly unreasonable "tantrums" and losing temper. To ease children's anger, parents should patiently guide them to face and address their negative emotions. On normal days, pay more attention to the child's emotions through strengthened communication and chat time. This helps to avoid children being under an impression that they need to be angry to grab your attention, or simply to feel loved. Recommended Blog: 4 Tips to Help Your Kids to Love Learning
  2. Unmet needs may cause bad temper? 

    In many cases, crying, screaming, tantrums and other furious behaviors are caused by children's conscious "needs" not being satisfied. There are many different aspects of "needs", and they are closely related to the child's natural and acquired personality traits. For example, if the child's personality is relatively shy and nervous, he/she may feel uneasy and hence, lose temper in a noisy and crowded environment. Physical or physiological needs are also influencing factors. If your child is born to be energetic but you expect him or her to sit at home and read books every day, he or she will naturally be upset. Related Course: “4 Fingers” Animanetics Profiling Test One of the most common problems is that parents are less affirmative and appreciative of their children, making their children lack self-confidence and then use "temper" to express and ease their emotions. Therefore, next time before you get mad, remind yourself that there are often other hidden factors behind the child's irritating behavior. Recommended Blog: How to improve kids’ concentration after holidays?
  3. Learn and imitate parents’ way of expression / temper

    Parents are the children's first and the closest teachers. Your way of dealing with people and things has a profound impact on your children's character, behavior, habits, etc. Some parents like to yell at their children imperatively and think that would make them obedient. From their reaction, children will mistakenly think that agitated behavior is the only way to respond to strong emotions. When this happens between parents and children, it will cause a vicious circle, and the situation will keep getting worse. As said, action speaks louder than words when it comes to parenting. Next time while you wonder where your child picks up a bad temper, you might as well pay attention to how you treat others and whether it will affect them unconsciously! To comfort your child, you must also look at things and express opinions in a calm and objective manner. Recommended Blog: 10 Nostalgic Childhood Memories


Parenting is like looking in a mirror, and the child's words and deeds reflect the parent's upbringing. Many parents spend most of their time finding the best way to raise children, but forget that they are indeed the most important teacher for their children. Trying to observe the true needs of yourself and your children from multiple angles is the best way to educate manners. If you need more help and reference, you may also refer to this list of 30 MANNERS YOUR KIDS SHOULD KNOW BY AGE 10 to re-examine the true situation of your child! Wish to find out more parenting tips? Want your kids to acquire different skills and knowledge when staying at home? Check out ILK Learning’s Course Catalog to find THE course for your kids! Feel free to reach out for more information on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram! We look forward to seeing your messages!

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