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With traditional Chinese cultural heritage roots in Hong Kong’s DNA, SEN families face challenges since the general is often lacking in understanding or even see it as taboos. In fact, according to SCMP, there is an estimate that one-third of students in town have SEN needs. Only in recent years, the situation has been recognized and more assistance have been made available by the government and organisations.
We understand how hard it could be as a parent with SEN kids. This guide has been written with hopes to help you navigate the daily challenges you might be facing, informing you with resources available and survival tips. Read on to get the support you deserve.
What is a Special Educational Need (SEN)?
Generally, the term “Special Educational Need” or SEN in short, is used to describe children who have learning difficulties or disabilities that make it harder for them to learn than peers of the same age. In Hong Kong, only students with severe or multiple SEN would be taken special care of in specialised education institutions or centres. Otherwise, most of the SEN students would still be placed in normal schools, some with a dedicated, licensed SEN coordinator or therapist based in the school.
Major types of SEN recognized by the Education Bureau (EDB) include:
Who could help?
Thankfully, the assistance provided by the local government is gradually increasing, aiding 62 special schools as of September 2021.
If you suspect your kid might need special educational support, you should start by getting the insights from:
More social support available on this Social Resources Guide, organised by the government.
Knowledge is key. Navigating through an unknown challenge is much more scary compared to a situation when you are well-informed. More and more educational content and guides come in handy online nowadays ( just like this blog!) Information comes in many other forms as well. Books, podcasts, videos - just start by a simple Google search to make sure you are going in the right direction.
Once you are more educated on the topic, you can consider joining professional parent-child training outside. Be it either a psychology course, an education training or even a workshop. Talk to the insiders to verify what you have learnt by yourself and get expert advice.
This not only equips you with extra knowledge, but also a great way to connect and network with like-minded people that might be walking the same path. Just by knowing that you are not alone, makes things much easier already. Never underestimate the power for emotional support when it comes to parenting. Try your best to build or join a parents supporting community - learn and advance together as a SEN parent!
Despite their unique needs, SEN kids are still kids. For children, playing is central to learning in a therapeutic way. It is beneficial in their physical, socio-emotional and communication development. Avoid being overprotective and shield them because of your child’s needs. Let the kid spread his or her wings and fly.
Go out and seek for extra-curricular activities that are suitable for your kid’s condition and age group. Look more into those that have a teamwork nature or an exercise element if possible (Make sure that your kid can handle the physical requirement for this case.) These help your child practise skills like listening, sharing, cooperating, waiting and taking turns. And similar to parents,
Let them learn, have fun and grow stronger at the same time!
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It is easy to neglect your own needs while you are focusing on your beloved child. Always bear in mind that your own physical and mental health are as important as your kid’s too. After all, the caretaker's own condition is the foundation of the assistance provided to the child.
Being a parent is hard enough. Being the parent of a SEN child is extra hard. Taking care of yourself in every possible aspect: physical exercise, nutrition, emotional outlets and personal relationships. It is amazing how often something minor seeming could become the key to wellness and relieve stress. Develop self-care rituals and habits to tune into and pamper your inner self a bit. It could be just a sum of tiny things that make you happy and feel valued - be it a coffee in the morning, 20 mins of journaling or late-night stretching. Find out what works for you.
Just as importantly, dedicate some of your energy and time to your spouse. Do not let your love for your SEN child lead to a marriage discord. You must not lose sight of your marriage itself and let it become a casualty of strain. Start by creating space for the relationship - arranging date nights, talking things through. Experts have suggested that SEN parents devote at least 20 minutes per day for each other but not around the child.
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Raising a SEN child is a lifelong marathon - we all know that. Turn to for every bit of support in every way you could and make sure you care for yourself equally.
Wish to find out more parenting tips? Want your kids to acquire different skills and knowledge when staying at home? Check out ILK Learning’s Course Catalogue to find THE course for your kids! Feel free to reach out for more information on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram! We look forward to seeing your messages!
When looking back on his successful life, Jack Ma, President of Alibaba, specifically mentioned the great influence of "Love Quotient" on him: "Loving Quotient is a business of great love, and it is love for the future, society, and people."
As mentioned by Ma, the love quotient includes a child's love, sympathy and emotion for people and things in the world. Children with a higher level of love quotient tend to be more sensitive to emotions and more empathetic. It is not difficult to imagine that children with the above characteristics have better interpersonal relationships, can be respected by others, and have a more harmonious and happy family.
With the continuous advancement of technology and the imminent threat of artificial intelligence (AI), the heart of love is even more important. Love and emotion are the only competitive advantage of humans when compared to robots, and they are especially important in creative work, roles that require communication, and the study of psychology. Only by cultivating children's ability to look at all things in life with love can keep them ahead in the mechanized society.
Like other quotients, LQ can be easily trained. Among them, volunteering is the best way to let children get used to proactively caring for their surroundings.
Many articles and courses out there focus on the importance of financial education for children, to urge parents to teach their children how to save and spend the right way as early as possible.
But do you really understand what "financial education" means?
Financial Quotient (FQ) is a person's ability to acquire and manage wealth by understanding how money works, including knowledge of stocks and investments. A higher FQ also indicates that they have stronger numerical and analytical skills, which are reflected in Math grades or STEM subjects.
To put it simply, financial education is an important practice for children to learn to spend and make money, which teaches skills that last a lifetime. In addition to teaching superficial knowledge such as savings and financial knowledge, good financial education actually focuses on cultivating children's financial management values, which is the foundation for them to become future decision-makers. By learning to distinguish between "needs" and "wants", gradually formulating goals and plans, and broadening market horizons, children will gradually learn to avoid being influenced by their peers and strive to achieve their dreams.
Emotional Quotient (EQ), is an index of self-emotional control ability, which measure the following aspects:
Health Quotient (HQ) represents a person's attitude towards health. To measure the child's HQ, parents need to pay attention to the following aspects:
The intelligence quotient (IQ) is believed to be the most familiar one among the 8 quotients that parents are familiar with!
IQ is the standard used to measure "wisdom" in the world, including a person's observation, memory, thinking, imagination, creativity, analysis and problem-solving ability. To boost this quotient, parents can:
It is said that IQ may be innate, but perseverance can be cultivated by everyone.
Children with a high will quotient (WQ) have determination, perseverance, direction, and a sense of purpose. They tend to be highly conscious, have a strong sense of responsibility, belief and self-control, and have a very complete worldview.
Group activities are of great help in cultivating children's will quotient. The author especially recommends activities involving physical fitness, such as ball games, scouting and swimming team training, and at the same time, improves the health quotient! Parents can also teach their children the habit of setting goals as early as possible. Every time your child wants to give up, encourage him or her to try a little more. Following the latest teaching method at the University of California in Long Beach, allows children to face more struggles and risks in their learning, rather than smooth sailing to get the right answer.
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If your child:
This quotient reflects the child's ability to deal with setbacks. It is up to the child to reflect on, learn from, and turn it into positive inspiration. However, if children are criticized, beaten, or face setbacks for a long time, they are likely to feel helpless and that progressively lowers their adversity quotient.
American business consultant and research scholar Dr. Paul Stoltz has researched and summarized a set of training methods called "LEAD" to improve AQ:
L - Listen: Listen regularly to your child's inner voice and opinions to understand what they truly need
E - Explore: Exploring the causes of difficulties and finding Solutions
A - Analyse: Analyse the problem at hand to remove obstacles
D - Do: Encourage children to face difficulties from a new perspective and start again
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If parents are too strict with their children, over time they will turn to express their emotions through the action of losing temper. Parents who adopt strict discipline tend to ignore their children's emotional feelings. From time to time, children tend to have a strong sense of frustration. Long-term lack of adult assistance, understanding and guidance mentally, so unspeakable and inexpressible feelings such as tension, sadness, grievance, etc. will transform the feeling of frustration into strong anger. Being constantly emotionally overloaded, children will naturally communicate how they feel deep down, with seemingly unreasonable "tantrums" and losing temper.
To ease children's anger, parents should patiently guide them to face and address their negative emotions. On normal days, pay more attention to the child's emotions through strengthened communication and chat time. This helps to avoid children being under an impression that they need to be angry to grab your attention, or simply to feel loved.
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In many cases, crying, screaming, tantrums and other furious behaviors are caused by children's conscious "needs" not being satisfied. There are many different aspects of "needs", and they are closely related to the child's natural and acquired personality traits. For example, if the child's personality is relatively shy and nervous, he/she may feel uneasy and hence, lose temper in a noisy and crowded environment. Physical or physiological needs are also influencing factors. If your child is born to be energetic but you expect him or her to sit at home and read books every day, he or she will naturally be upset.
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One of the most common problems is that parents are less affirmative and appreciative of their children, making their children lack self-confidence and then use "temper" to express and ease their emotions. Therefore, next time before you get mad, remind yourself that there are often other hidden factors behind the child's irritating behavior.
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Parents are the children's first and the closest teachers. Your way of dealing with people and things has a profound impact on your children's character, behavior, habits, etc. Some parents like to yell at their children imperatively and think that would make them obedient. From their reaction, children will mistakenly think that agitated behavior is the only way to respond to strong emotions. When this happens between parents and children, it will cause a vicious circle, and the situation will keep getting worse.
As said, action speaks louder than words when it comes to parenting. Next time while you wonder where your child picks up a bad temper, you might as well pay attention to how you treat others and whether it will affect them unconsciously! To comfort your child, you must also look at things and express opinions in a calm and objective manner.
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The ultimate goal of will quotient training is to let the children do their job better. Do you often find your child procrastinating? The truth is that the child does not necessarily lack grit, but is too nervous and anxious about achieving the goal. With too much psychological pressure, the brain will naturally release the message of giving up.
You can help your children to disassemble the big goal into independent steps. That way it would be easier to find the entry point to start achieving. Let the child get closer to the final goal step by step as if he or she is climbing stairs, without having to rush under mental pressure.
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Let the children receive some physical sports training! Most sports training requires children to not give in even when their physical strength is at its limit, in order to gradually improve their skills. Take them to some sports activities that require perseverance to complete, or perseverance. Jogging, rock climbing and hiking are some activities that I would strongly recommend.
Among them, hiking is a perfect choice. In a natural environment, children will encounter many unpredictable and unavoidable challenges that require creativity, experience and observation skills to solve. Hiking is also an amazing cardiorespiratory training. During the process of climbing up, the child might even find it difficult to breathe at some point. But once they carry on and get through the tough moments, the beautiful scenery on the top of the mountains, would be their biggest and most encouraging prizes of all time
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As parents, most want their children to fall in love with learning and excel among their peers.
How to adjust a child's mentality to make him or her learn spontaneously and curate a love for learning?
ILK Learning introduces 4 tips to help your children fall in love with learning naturally, instead of forcing them to.
Everyone's learning preferences are different. Parents can spend more time observing their children's learning habits, especially in the following aspects:
In addition, the time of study is also very important. Find out the time slot when the child is more energetic and could concentrate the best. The most basic concept is to distinguish between a "morning person " and "a night owl". Be aware of whether your child will be more energetic in the morning or the evening! Often parents would prefer their children to go to bed early and rise early, but studies have shown that chronotype is largely determined by genetics, and it also affects children's emotional performance.
One of the most influential learning strategies is "distributed practice" - in addition to completing daily homework, try arranging the learning period of the same subject at different times of the week. It would be most ideal if the child would touch on every academic subject within a week. For example, he or she can spend 15 minutes reviewing English grammar everyday, and then finish a few additional Mathematics problems. After a week, the overall learning hours of children may still be similar, but they are exposed to all subjects in a short period.
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Are you still asking your children to sit at the desk obediently and study quietly with the textbooks every day after school?
Let's think from children's perspectives: Every day from morning to afternoon in class, they are all required to sit in a dreadful classroom and absorb knowledge from books. Similar to adults at work - if they continue this way of learning at home or in a tutorial class, their "working hours" will be longer than any of us at work!
Be creative and discover more interesting ways of learning! You can experiment with multiple learning methods with your children, such as mini-games, concept maps/mind maps, quizzes, and even music, to make learning extra fun.
Take my personal experience as an example. As a liberal arts student, I often need to memorize course content. Among all of the subjects, revising for History is the most terrifying. Before an important exam, I sat at my desk alone with pressure piling up. I turned to my stuffed animals on the bed and "educated" them about the complicated relationship between the United States and Russia during the Cold War. I was surprised that the method of "giving a lesson" turned out to be extremely effective. This learning method not only helps with memorizing. Students can also easily discover the parts they have missed or are not familiar with in the process of explanation, meanwhile adding some fun to the dull learning time.
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In a highly competitive society like Hong Kong, most parents have a strong comparative mentality. When faced with what a child does, everyone often judges it according to social standards and the eyes of others, rather than against the child’s unique personality and needs. This is called "reference standard" in theory, but it secretly hinders many children's learning process or affects their emotional management because of scolding.
As the saying goes: "Nobody is perfect." What's more is that learning from mistakes is, in fact, the most efficient way to learn! Making mistakes will reveal your child’s weaknesses in learning, allowing improvement accordingly. Moreover, from experience, the lessons after making a mistake are the best reminders to avoid future mistakes!
Therefore, the next time your child makes a mistake, instead of scolding them right away, you should discuss the mistake with them and encourage them so that failure could turn into the foundation of success!
To break the cycle of normal, dull studying, parents should give children more opportunities to utilize their knowledge. Look for teaching materials and "tests" in everyday life, so that they can see the relationship between learning and themselves.
Is the child studying geography recently? Why not go for a parent-child outing, have some fresh air and check out the magical landscape of Hong Kong!
Does your child struggle with arithmetics? After class, go to the supermarket as a family and calculate the total spend according to the unit price. Let him or her use Mathematics skills to be a shopping assistant! After returning home, ask your children to help prepare cooking ingredients with knowledge of measurement units.
Finding reciting English words challenging? Parents can play English songs and hum with their children. Reading a storybook in English before going to bed helps to improve sleep quality and facilitates learning as well!
If your children are more mature and the subjects get more complicated after being promoted to secondary school, you can try to link learning to their daily surroundings.
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Only after children have experienced the joy of learning, can they have a chance to truly fall in love with it. Parents can play the role of guidance and inspiration to help children develop an interest in learning.
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Wish to find out more parenting tips? Want your kids to acquire different skills and knowledge when staying at home? Check out ILK Learning’s Course Catalog to find THE course for your kids! Feel free to reach out for more information on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram! We look forward to seeing your messages!
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